WHY ME?

Over the last 25 years I have asked myself "why me?" thousands of times.

Why was I the one who developed PTSD?

Why was I the one that couldn't cope with everything and tried to end my life?

Why was I the one who would drink till unconsciousness and hope to never wake up?

Why was I the one who was so angry all the time?

I have asked myself all those questions and so many more over the past 25 years and here's what I think.

It was a message from the Universe (I don't believe in religion) saying change your job, do something more with your life. There were definitely smaller messages prior to 1995 that I ignored, so eventually it was like..."fuck you"...here's something to make you change your life.

It took me many years from the incident in 1995 to realise all this, but I am now grateful for what happened to me. My aim these days is to be a better person in everything I do and make those around me feel wanted and appreciated.

I have met and loved people I never would have met. I have experienced things in my life that I never would have if I had stayed in the police force and for that I am truly grateful.

So that's it, nothing spectacular, just me living and loving my life.

Life is short, live it, love it and embrace it.